This is embarassing to talk about. Of all people, I shouldn’t be talking about feeling fat. But every woman can relate to this.

It’s not just about size, it’s the way you feel on any given day.

Take for example that special time of the month, where you are bloated, lethargic, cranky, and just feeling YUCK! It’s hard to get on my mat on those days. It’s even harder to put on my itty bitty shorts and bra and get excited about sweating for an hour and a half.

Yesterday I meant to go to my 8:00 bikram class. I woke up with a bit of a sour stomach. My belly was bloated and I just couldn’t get myself to go to class. I felt that day all day.

So I wake up this morning feeling bad that I didn’t get my workout in. I still worked out 6 days a week, why am I so hard on myself?

How does someone as petite as me still feel fat? It’s pathetic I know but I am there with every other woman who complains about their God given gift known as -the period-.

Sometimes we feel this way from eating a ‘bad meal’ or for me, having dessert or fried food. Both leave me feeling pretty gross, and it takes at least a day to beat myself over it.

The key of course is having a balance. There are days when I eat just one cookie and feel I have spoiled myself enough. I can get on my mat and have a great workout still. Then there are days where I’ll eat some fries and can’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror.

I think a lot of women can relate to this. It sounds so extreme but it’s so normal, isn’t it?

I try to tell myself (and people who ask) that it’s okay to feel that way for a small period of time, then you have to turn it around and make it different the next day. You can’t just wallow in it, or else you’ll talk yourself out of working out for the whole week. Then before you know it, it’s been 6 weeks since you’ve raised your heart rate and you’re eating bad again.

I guess the key is having the willpower to stop whining and get back in the game. It sounds simple but the way we talk to ourselves is so depressing. We don’t need other people to criticize, we do it all pretty well on our own.

So I did the right thing and ate pretty plain today. The stomach is not so queasy anymore so no more excuses. Tomorrow is another day.

Soon I will have an entry about how great it feels to actually really appreciate my body in the state that it is in. Imagine that, being happy with ourselves!

:)

Namaste.